One aim of these Grief Walks is to change attitudes around grief and grieving, broadening it out to include losses of all kinds. In Nonviolent communication (NVC) on which my work is based, ‘Mourning’ is considered a human need, and if this need isn’t met in our lives, wellbeing suffers.
Acknowledging all human needs is a way to create greater connection to ourselves and others. In order to create more space for grief and mourning, we can learn to guess that if someone is very upset about losing a job or the threat of losing a job, that the need for safety or meaning or sustainability is very important to them. This will help to keep the attention on the person you are listening to and his/her grief, so they don’t slip back too quickly into ‘I’ll be alright … life goes on’.
When said with resonance and warmth, something like “It’s so important for you to feel you are secure” or “Having a job really gives some meaning to your life” can support someone to connect more fully to what’s going on for them.
Sometimes we have a vague sense that something is missing in our lives; when having a look at the following list of human needs, something might resonate and give you a clue of what your system is longing for, and mourning. Some awareness of what is happening to you, may begin to shift things.
|Subsistence and Security
Peace of mind
Leisure / Relaxation
To be heard
To be seen
Celebration of life